Disgusted Researchers Can’t Even Bring Themselves To Find Out How Much Mayo Misha Consumes Yearly

Edina, MN—Almost too queasy to even comment on the study at all, a team of disgusted researchers from the University of Minnesota announced Thursday they couldn’t bring themselves to find out how much mayonnaise the Misha Estrin consumes each year. “After reviewing preliminary figures on the annual rate of Misha’s mayonnaise consumption, we couldn’t stop gagging and decided there was absolutely no way we could pursue this topic any further,” said head researcher Leonard Aldridge,

Aldridge went on to say, however, that he was certain future studies into Estrin’s consumption rates of melted cheese, ranch dressing, and butter would be far less disturbing.

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