Apple Hires Revolutionary CEO With No Inborn Passion For The Industry

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Apple’s new CEO has no enthusiasm for apple products or technology.

Although he does own an I-phone and Macbook pro issued by the company upon signing a 5 year contract, Gene Aherndts admits he only plans to use them in emergency situations.

“If I need to look up directions to my cabin in Duluth, or call the police, the Iphone may come in handy.” Aherndts said.

In a press release, Apple Management showed enthusiasm for having Aherndts on board:

He shares our values and our focus on de-innovation. and he places the same lack of emphasis on the customer experience. He has shown himself to be an extraordinary leader throughout his career and has a proven track record for cutting costs while dissatisfying millions of consumers.

At Apple, he will be responsible for strategic direction, & tackling the challenge of expanding sales without inventing any new technology.

“I have always admired Apple’s ability to double sales year after year without having any improvement in user end experience. I hope I can help contribute to the company’s continued success without actually revolutionizing modern technology”

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Misha Estrin