Colorado Optometrists Say It’s, Like, Totally Fine to Stare Directly at Sun During Eclipse

With so many tourists travelling through Colorado to get a better look at the sun being partially concealed for two minutes, local optometrists have been offering their advice on how to best enjoy the eclipse.

Boulder, Colorado optometrist Skylar Bortley, M.D. said it’s, like, totally cool to look at the sun when it happens. “I mean, like, who am I to judge what you do with your eyes, you know?” Bortley mused. “I mean, since we’re all living in a simulation anyway, maybe if we all, like, look at the eclipse together, it’ll, like, break it, you know?”

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“Yeah, Skylar was totally right,” Chaz Mugulk, M.D. of Golden, Colorado said. “I don’t like the government telling me what I can or can’t eat, or drink, or smoke… so why should anyone care if you look at the eclipse? It’s just another way big business is trying to subvert their dominance over the masses, man.”

When asked what people should do if vision loss occurs, Mugulk recommended getting a prescription for glaucoma medication… “If you know what I mean.”

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