MINNEAPOLIS—Known in the Southside crime community as “The Green Gangster”, 26-year-old environmental activist and convicted felon, Luther Posey is encouraging sustainable lifestyle habits for drug kingpins and suburban moms alike.
“The eco-system is mad vulnerable right now and Muhfuckas are out here lackadaisically committing crimes with no regard for the far-reaching environmental consequences of their actions,” Posey said as he capped an empty 40 oz. BPA-Free glass container of malt liquor and tossed it into a nearby recycling bin.
“A man might murder you for your Jordan’s, yet have no regard for his own carbon footprint. I just don’t get it, man. The irony is lost on some of these fools.” A visibly upset Posey said with his British Accent before taking a drag of an e-cigarette.
Some of the sustainability-guru’s most recent endeavors have included authoring a public service announcement on the outside of a local apartment complex urging residents to “Fuck Bitches, Conserve Power,” and kicking off the 1st annual Weed, Money, Recycling 5K.
“A lotta these problems are easy to fix. I mean, how you ain’t at least gonna pick the slugs up off the flo’ after you blast some fool?” A poignant question coming from a man determined to clean up the streets one stray bullet at a time.
Posey cut the interview short, realizing he was late to his yoga class.