As long as I’m in office I promise to not get involved with any politics.
Oh, wow. What next, I dunno, what do you guys wanna talk about?
- I regret to inform you I’ve come down with a global pandemic
I hope to be well enough to return by next year.
In the meantime I hope you can find someone to financially support you.
Late-breaking polls fabricated around this publications water cooler show former Vice President Joe Biden making big gains following the staffs decision to lie about the news
Unemployed man Misha Estrin who stays up until 5am every morning watching Frazier re-runs is troubled that the sun now sets at 5:30.