Dip in Trump’s Poll Numbers Due to Supporters Who Died in Firework Related Accidents
-Donald Trump’s poll numbers have plunged to new lows after thousands of his supporters died in firework related accidents this 4th of July weekend.
Politics
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Woman Runs Over Boyfriend With Car After Learning He Supports Trump
PHOENIX — When Misty Lee Wilke realized the man she had been having a sexual relationship with was a Trump supporter, she ran him over with a Mustang, according to court records.
Trump Agrees to Debate Bernie on Topic of Whether or Not They Should Debate
After over a week of silence, Republican Nominee Donald Trump has responded to demands that he debate Bernie Sanders. While the business tycoon had initially been against the idea, he has since stated that he could be pursued by a
Hillary Clinton Criticized For Being Abducted by Mothership Worth $19-Trillion During Speech on Inequality
Hilary Clinton has come under fire for being abducted by her $19,002,111,230,332 mothership during a speech about inequality.
Walmart’s Back To School Sale Includes Assault Rifles
Walmart is Selling Guns Again.
Stephen Hawking Calls Trump A ‘Demagogue’ Google Search of Term Reaches All Time High
Stephen Hawking, the great explainer of cosmic mysteries, when asked to explain the political ascendance of Donald J. Trump, he said simply, “I can’t.”
Listening To Conservative Talk Radio In Cars With Children Illegal Starting SEP 1, 2019
Starting September 1, 2019, it will be illegal to listen to Conservative Talk Radio in a car or other vehicles, with anyone under the age of 18.
China To Replace Stairs To School With Treacherous 2,625-Foot Ladder
A series of Budget Deficits forced the government in Zhaojue County China to propose a quick remedy on Friday: selling the steel from a 3-mile staircase and replacing it with a 2,625-foot bamboo ladder
Trump: “Only Good Mexicans Are Those Who Work At My 5 Star Resorts”
When asked about a controversial immigration statement made earlier in his campaign, the real estate mogul stood firm,
Sperm Whales Found Dead In Florida, Stomachs Full Of Uncounted Bernie Sanders Ballots
According to a press release from Florida’s Marine Biologist Union, many of the whales had stomachs FULL of uncounted Bernie Sanders ballots, greatly reducing his chances of winning the 2020 election.