Work Calls In Sick To Employees
- I regret to inform you I’ve come down with a global pandemic
I hope to be well enough to return by next year.
In the meantime I hope you can find someone to financially support you.
Author: Misha Estrin
Biden polling #1 Amongst Click Bait News Article Writers
Late-breaking polls fabricated around this publications water cooler show former Vice President Joe Biden making big gains following the staffs decision to lie about the news
Linkin Park Die Hard Fan Deletes Bad Review of The Song “Heavy”
Linkin Park’s latest song “Heavy” received a harsh backlash from fans.
“Comedian” Who Never Plans To Leave MN Pushes Back His “Big Move” To LA Yet Again
Self proclaimed comedian Alex Collyard is pushing back his big move to LA from JUN 17th to SEP 02 2017, due to a “few things he still needs to sort out.” Alex estimates three months will be sufficient to sort
Healthcare Bill Would’ve Survived If It Had Health Insurance
Paul Ryan’s healthcare bill had stomach pains all morning. The bill was uninsured so when it arrived at the emergency room to seek treatment, it was sent home and told to take ibuprofen.
Unemployed Man Who Wakes Up At 1pm Every Day Upset That Sun Now Sets At 5:30
Unemployed man Misha Estrin who stays up until 5am every morning watching Frazier re-runs is troubled that the sun now sets at 5:30.
Photographer Paid In “Exposure” Taking Too Long To Upload Photos
Photographer Austin Smith was recently given a “great opportunity” at “career-changing” EXPOSURE
Apple Hires Revolutionary CEO With No Inborn Passion For The Industry
Apple’s new CEO has no enthusiasm for apple products or technology.
Singer Adele Asks Fan to Stop Filming Her With Iphone Vertically In Concert
Note to self: Don’t try filming Adele vertically at her concert.
The pop superstar took a moment during a show Sunday in Verona, Italy, to call out a fan who had an I Phone in the portrait position.
Upcoming iPhone 7 Will Not Feature Anticipated 24hr Lasting Battery
The iPhone 7 just got a lot less impressive
Reports from Apple confirmed today iPhone 7 model’s highly-anticipated 24hr lasting battery, has been cancelled due to “immature” technology. It was expected and believed that the Plus-sized variant of the upcoming