Gop Healthcare Plan Provides Every American With Bootstraps To Pick Themselves Up

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WASHINGTON D.C. – Trying once again to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Sens. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) have introduced a bill that would deconstruct the ACA. The revised bill aims to “bring healthcare back to the American

After Translation Error, Mexico Pays $70 Billion For Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”

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August 28, 2017 – Following a tense week of communications with US President Trump, Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto has accepted Trump’s request for Mexico to pay for The Wall. read more

Colorado Optometrists Say It’s, Like, Totally Fine to Stare Directly at Sun During Eclipse

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With so many tourists travelling through Colorado to get a better look at the sun being partially concealed for two minutes, local optometrists have been offering their advice on how to best enjoy the eclipse. read more

Cropped Wedding Photo on LinkedIn Lands Man Job Interview

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TEMPE, AZ – Local 24-year-old Justin Jorgenstern awoke at 1:30 pm to a delightful surprise: An email from Morgan Lindley, asking Justin to come in for a job interview. read more

Microsoft Edge Voted #1 Web Browser to Download Google Chrome

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SAN JOSE, CA – The results are in: Microsoft Edge was just voted the #1 web browser to download Google Chrome.
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Kid Chokes On Bone in Vegan Ice Cream At Ben & Jerry’s

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Ben and Jerry’s on Excelsior Boulevard, Minneapolis became the first Ice cream shop in the nation to release vegan flavors 11am, Feb 28th. But already, things aren’t going so well for the business. read more