Man Afraid of Friendzone Calls Everything a Date.
Carl decided he would call any interaction with any human alone: a date.
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Gop Healthcare Plan Provides Every American With Bootstraps To Pick Themselves Up
WASHINGTON D.C. – Trying once again to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Sens. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) have introduced a bill that would deconstruct the ACA. The revised bill aims to “bring healthcare back to the American
…After Translation Error, Mexico Pays $70 Billion For Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”
August 28, 2017 – Following a tense week of communications with US President Trump, Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto has accepted Trump’s request for Mexico to pay for The Wall.
Colorado Optometrists Say It’s, Like, Totally Fine to Stare Directly at Sun During Eclipse
With so many tourists travelling through Colorado to get a better look at the sun being partially concealed for two minutes, local optometrists have been offering their advice on how to best enjoy the eclipse.
Linkin Park Die Hard Fan Deletes Bad Review of The Song “Heavy”
Linkin Park’s latest song “Heavy” received a harsh backlash from fans.
“Comedian” Who Never Plans To Leave MN Pushes Back His “Big Move” To LA Yet Again
Self proclaimed comedian Alex Collyard is pushing back his big move to LA from JUN 17th to SEP 02 2017, due to a “few things he still needs to sort out.” Alex estimates three months will be sufficient to sort
…Cropped Wedding Photo on LinkedIn Lands Man Job Interview
TEMPE, AZ – Local 24-year-old Justin Jorgenstern awoke at 1:30 pm to a delightful surprise: An email from Morgan Lindley, asking Justin to come in for a job interview.
Microsoft Edge Voted #1 Web Browser to Download Google Chrome
SAN JOSE, CA – The results are in: Microsoft Edge was just voted the #1 web browser to download Google Chrome.
Healthcare Bill Would’ve Survived If It Had Health Insurance
Paul Ryan’s healthcare bill had stomach pains all morning. The bill was uninsured so when it arrived at the emergency room to seek treatment, it was sent home and told to take ibuprofen.
Unemployed Man Who Wakes Up At 1pm Every Day Upset That Sun Now Sets At 5:30
Unemployed man Misha Estrin who stays up until 5am every morning watching Frazier re-runs is troubled that the sun now sets at 5:30.